Stogie Commentary: Smokin’ Halloween Costumes

Still trying to throw together that last-minute Halloween costume before you head out drinking or (God forbid) harassing your neighbors for candy? Want to be able to smoke a cigar? Well, you’re in luck.

As you can see to the right, being the huge Chicago Bears fan that I am, this weekend I decided to hit the town as a Superfan. It was great because I was able to satisfy my urges for cigars and salted meats while in character.

But I realize not all of you are fans of Da (undefeated) Bears. So we here at StogieGuys.com have come up with a pretty decent list (in no particular order) of great stogie-wielding costume ideas. This is by no means comprehensive, but feel free to leave further suggestions as comments.

1. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Whether you’re going as The Governator or one of his gun-toting movie characters, a big cigar won’t look out of place.

2. Michael Jordan. Now in retirement, the greatest basketball player ever never hits the links without a Macanudo.

3. Groucho Marx. Sure, it’s a little dated, but this American icon loved his stogies.

4. Ulysses S. Grant. Some historians say the super-sized prez smoked around 20 cigars a day. Greatest president ever?

5. Kramer. Just try not to burn down Suzan’s log cabin.

6. Scarface. He was Tony Montana. The world will remember him by another name…

7. Bill Clinton and/or Monica Lewinsky. This costume is great for couples. Just remember that cigars are for smoking.

8. Sigmund Freud. Do you think the cigar-smoking neurologist was into cigars because he was envious of his father’s you-know-what?

9. Jesse Ventura. I’d recommend going as his Blain character from Predator. (Note: Jesse is the second future governor from this cast. Did someone say Carl Weathers in 2006?)

10. Hot cigar girl. Enough said.

11. Winston Churchill. Leading (and smoking) England through World War II, this prime minister is by far the manliest British dude ever. By far.

12. Mark Twain. He made it a rule “never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.”

13. Clint Eastwood. Step one: Grab a six-shooter, a cowboy hat, and a Backwoods cigar. Step two: Go kill some Indians.

14. A dictator. Any Pinko Commie like Fidel Castro, Kim Jong Il, or Che Guevara will do.

15. A cigar store Indian. Watch out for Clint Eastwoods.

–Patrick A